Trust in the Lord

The "With All my Heart" title of this blog you probably figured out came from Prov. 3:5-6. It's a verse that's been on my mind a lot the past few months. It's at the bottom of the page, but for the sake of you having to scroll down, here it is:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."

"Trust in the Lord" I can't count the number of times I've heard those 4 words thrown out or that I've thrown out. It seems like such a simple command, and yet we struggle. Maybe we struggle trusting people in general, or maybe we are so conditioned to only relying on ourselves. When we learned this verse with the kids at church, our sign for "trust" was to pretend to do a trust fall. Now I do believe that's a picture of what it is to trust God completely, but my concept of trust falls was a bit skewed as an elementary camper.

At camp one year, our cabin's assignment was to trust fall from a log into the waiting arms of our cabin mates. Most of us weren't in fact too trusting of each other as was evidenced by our wary glances backward or our crazy crooked falls, but my friend Ashley was. She climbed onto the log eagerly and confidently turned around with her back to us. We waited with anticipation, arms raised, ready to demonstrate our faithfulness to her. I can see this in slow motion - she fell back, straight as a board, exactly as she was supposed to. We caught her gleefully, then the horror as she slipped right through our arms and hit her head on a stump. I promise it was an accident, and she is okay today!

Sometimes as I consider trust, my mind goes back to this picture. The reality is we were fallible and not completely trustworthy, but God is. He's faithful to all of His promises. If we have any doubt, we need to consider the cross that "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He is perfect and cannot do anything that goes against His nature, which is good ALL the time. He isn't like my elementary cabin group who tried really hard, but just couldn't do it. He is God, and He promises that "All things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to HIS PURPOSES."

The next part of the verse is the one I've had to really grapple with - "Lean not on your own understanding"
"Yes, Lord I'll trust you, but only if I can figure out what You're going to do." I try to analyze the situation, prepare myself for the outcome, and know what to expect. Trust me I'm an OVER analyzer! What I'm trying to do is be in control and protect myself.

I cheered during my high school years - Yes, I know you probably made fun of cheerleaders. You can laugh if you desire.
Are you done?
I was a flyer, and during my sophomore year, my stunt group, still learning, dropped me a lot in the beginning. After a few times of being dropped, I began to try to analyze each stunt, and if I thought I was going to fall, I would get out of it myself. This is a problem. You teach girls to fall back in a cradle position if they are about to fall, because it makes you easier to catch. If you freak out or step out of the stunt, you are harder to catch and the faces of everyone trying to catch you are now in danger. I had to break myself of the habit for my safety and safety of my friends. In fear, I was attempting to establish control and protect myself.

When I withhold my absolute trust in the Lord, trying to analyze what God is doing, I'm trying to protect myself and be in control. The absurdity of that is why I would think I can do anything better than God. God is my ultimate Protector. My heart and mind are desperately wicked and deceitful Jeremiah says. They can't be trusted. God alone can be trusted, because He loves us as He demonstrated through Christ. David provides such a good example of hiding in the Lord and resting in His protection even when things seemed out of control.

We prayed hard yesterday we would hear about our visas. God's answer was "no" for the time. I don't know why and I'm not going to "lean on my own understanding" to try to figure it out! God has commanded me to "Trust in Him with all my heart." So I will...because I can!