No Saying No!

Yes, these words actually came out of my mouth! Another phrase to add to my growing list of things I can't believe I've ever said to my child!

We are certainly NOT parenting experts, in fact, we are pretty new to this whole parenting thing, especially as each day brings new challenges and doubts, and we seem to know less and less. I mean, I've never had a two year old before, and I'm starting to see why they call it the "Terrible Two's." I am forever wondering if I am being too hard, not consistent enough, if I crushed his spirit, if I'm acting out of frustration or anger, did I misread the situation, is there a bigger problem than what I'm seeing and on and on...

Most recently our challenge has been Tanner emphatically telling us "No!" when he doesn't like or want something or when we ask him to do something. It isn't a nice sounding no, although he keeps saying "Nice" as well, equally as hateful sounding I might add! Obviously he's heard the word "no" many times over the last two years of his life, but now comes time to teach him it is not acceptable to tell Mommy and Daddy no. So yes, the other night I said "no, saying no!" We burst out laughing at the absurdity of the statement, parallel to smacking your child's hand for hitting, yelling at him to not yell, or impatiently telling him to be patient, we started to rethink .

God has blessed us with a strong-willed child who goes through great lengths to get his way or have control over situations. Many times we are scrambling to figure out how best to teach him self-control, obedience, and ultimately about God's plan for us. Here's a few things we are learning:
- We need to plan how to handle situations BEFORE they happen (what we are going to say, what discipline course to take, etc.) otherwise we find ourselves reacting more than being intentional and consistent.
- We need to communicate our "plans" with each other. I know this seems logical, but we are constantly forgetting to tell each other how we've handled a particular situation, and then it is confusing
- Sometimes everyone needs a time-out or an alone break!
- What works one day may or may not work the next
- Parenting is WAY harder than it looks before kids! And that sweet innocent, little newborn will talk one day and will not always be the sweetest thing in the world and is FAR from innocent!

But then you get those glimpses of pure sweetness. This morning after a VERY long, tearful, disobedient morning, and being sent to his room, Tanner was much quieter than he should be. He had taken his blanket out of his crib, gotten his paci off the dresser, laid on the floor, and fell asleep! I must say after his 5 min. snooze he was remarkably happy!

What have you learned from parenting?