I've probably mentioned the last several months have been a period of waiting and limbo, actually it may be more like the last several years, depending on how you look at it. Well, today is the day of new beginnings and new adventures...
and as exciting as that is, it's also scary. I'm not much of an adventure girl. I like the occasional "safe" adventure, you know the kind where you just follow the lead of someone else or the masses who have done it many time before. Embarking on new cultures, new ministry, new EVERYTHING terrifies me! But, I'm confident this is God's next step for us.
Right as I woke up this morning, God impressed on my heart a verse -
Matthew 7:11 - If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
My Father gives good gifts! This new adventure is not something to be feared or anxious about, because it is a good gift, the only kind He gives! And that is energizing! So bring on 3 airports, an overnight flight with a busy toddler, way too many bags, a new country, home, and ministry! This is a good gift to embrace!
Besides, ready or not here it comes today...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Sweet Moments
In the midst of temper tantrums, diapers, throwing toys, and constant movement, I'll admit it can be difficult to find pleasure in this stage of life. Most days I think we have hit "terrible two's" (my friends say "terrible threes" but the thought of that is too depressing this far out!) way too early!
But, this morning I was reminded to stop and "unwrap Tuesdays" by slowing down and appreciating the small things in life. Here's the moment for today:
I'm not sure if he's my child or maybe even more so, takes after my father, but my sweet toddler has a fetish with things being a certain way. For example, he will close any door that he sees open even if it means stopping eating to do so, he will pick up his toys without being told, and his cup must be in the cup holder of his tray. This morning my sweet boy, picked up my empty coffee cup to take a swig. Then he took off with it. The next thing we heard was dishes clanging (never a good sign!). John took off running, both of us sure he had just gotten into the cabinets and was destroying something. We clearly have high expectations of our child...
Instead, our cutie pie had stood on his tippy toes and dropped my mug in the sink, right where it needed to go. Thankfully nothing broke, and he was beaming with pride at being so helpful! I love this kid! Way to melt your momma's heart!
What are you savoring today?
But, this morning I was reminded to stop and "unwrap Tuesdays" by slowing down and appreciating the small things in life. Here's the moment for today:
I'm not sure if he's my child or maybe even more so, takes after my father, but my sweet toddler has a fetish with things being a certain way. For example, he will close any door that he sees open even if it means stopping eating to do so, he will pick up his toys without being told, and his cup must be in the cup holder of his tray. This morning my sweet boy, picked up my empty coffee cup to take a swig. Then he took off with it. The next thing we heard was dishes clanging (never a good sign!). John took off running, both of us sure he had just gotten into the cabinets and was destroying something. We clearly have high expectations of our child...
Instead, our cutie pie had stood on his tippy toes and dropped my mug in the sink, right where it needed to go. Thankfully nothing broke, and he was beaming with pride at being so helpful! I love this kid! Way to melt your momma's heart!
What are you savoring today?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Trust in the Lord
The "With All my Heart" title of this blog you probably figured out came from Prov. 3:5-6. It's a verse that's been on my mind a lot the past few months. It's at the bottom of the page, but for the sake of you having to scroll down, here it is:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."
"Trust in the Lord" I can't count the number of times I've heard those 4 words thrown out or that I've thrown out. It seems like such a simple command, and yet we struggle. Maybe we struggle trusting people in general, or maybe we are so conditioned to only relying on ourselves. When we learned this verse with the kids at church, our sign for "trust" was to pretend to do a trust fall. Now I do believe that's a picture of what it is to trust God completely, but my concept of trust falls was a bit skewed as an elementary camper.
At camp one year, our cabin's assignment was to trust fall from a log into the waiting arms of our cabin mates. Most of us weren't in fact too trusting of each other as was evidenced by our wary glances backward or our crazy crooked falls, but my friend Ashley was. She climbed onto the log eagerly and confidently turned around with her back to us. We waited with anticipation, arms raised, ready to demonstrate our faithfulness to her. I can see this in slow motion - she fell back, straight as a board, exactly as she was supposed to. We caught her gleefully, then the horror as she slipped right through our arms and hit her head on a stump. I promise it was an accident, and she is okay today!
Sometimes as I consider trust, my mind goes back to this picture. The reality is we were fallible and not completely trustworthy, but God is. He's faithful to all of His promises. If we have any doubt, we need to consider the cross that "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He is perfect and cannot do anything that goes against His nature, which is good ALL the time. He isn't like my elementary cabin group who tried really hard, but just couldn't do it. He is God, and He promises that "All things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to HIS PURPOSES."
The next part of the verse is the one I've had to really grapple with - "Lean not on your own understanding"
"Yes, Lord I'll trust you, but only if I can figure out what You're going to do." I try to analyze the situation, prepare myself for the outcome, and know what to expect. Trust me I'm an OVER analyzer! What I'm trying to do is be in control and protect myself.
I cheered during my high school years - Yes, I know you probably made fun of cheerleaders. You can laugh if you desire.
Are you done?
I was a flyer, and during my sophomore year, my stunt group, still learning, dropped me a lot in the beginning. After a few times of being dropped, I began to try to analyze each stunt, and if I thought I was going to fall, I would get out of it myself. This is a problem. You teach girls to fall back in a cradle position if they are about to fall, because it makes you easier to catch. If you freak out or step out of the stunt, you are harder to catch and the faces of everyone trying to catch you are now in danger. I had to break myself of the habit for my safety and safety of my friends. In fear, I was attempting to establish control and protect myself.
When I withhold my absolute trust in the Lord, trying to analyze what God is doing, I'm trying to protect myself and be in control. The absurdity of that is why I would think I can do anything better than God. God is my ultimate Protector. My heart and mind are desperately wicked and deceitful Jeremiah says. They can't be trusted. God alone can be trusted, because He loves us as He demonstrated through Christ. David provides such a good example of hiding in the Lord and resting in His protection even when things seemed out of control.
We prayed hard yesterday we would hear about our visas. God's answer was "no" for the time. I don't know why and I'm not going to "lean on my own understanding" to try to figure it out! God has commanded me to "Trust in Him with all my heart." So I will...because I can!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."
"Trust in the Lord" I can't count the number of times I've heard those 4 words thrown out or that I've thrown out. It seems like such a simple command, and yet we struggle. Maybe we struggle trusting people in general, or maybe we are so conditioned to only relying on ourselves. When we learned this verse with the kids at church, our sign for "trust" was to pretend to do a trust fall. Now I do believe that's a picture of what it is to trust God completely, but my concept of trust falls was a bit skewed as an elementary camper.
At camp one year, our cabin's assignment was to trust fall from a log into the waiting arms of our cabin mates. Most of us weren't in fact too trusting of each other as was evidenced by our wary glances backward or our crazy crooked falls, but my friend Ashley was. She climbed onto the log eagerly and confidently turned around with her back to us. We waited with anticipation, arms raised, ready to demonstrate our faithfulness to her. I can see this in slow motion - she fell back, straight as a board, exactly as she was supposed to. We caught her gleefully, then the horror as she slipped right through our arms and hit her head on a stump. I promise it was an accident, and she is okay today!
Sometimes as I consider trust, my mind goes back to this picture. The reality is we were fallible and not completely trustworthy, but God is. He's faithful to all of His promises. If we have any doubt, we need to consider the cross that "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He is perfect and cannot do anything that goes against His nature, which is good ALL the time. He isn't like my elementary cabin group who tried really hard, but just couldn't do it. He is God, and He promises that "All things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to HIS PURPOSES."
The next part of the verse is the one I've had to really grapple with - "Lean not on your own understanding"
"Yes, Lord I'll trust you, but only if I can figure out what You're going to do." I try to analyze the situation, prepare myself for the outcome, and know what to expect. Trust me I'm an OVER analyzer! What I'm trying to do is be in control and protect myself.
I cheered during my high school years - Yes, I know you probably made fun of cheerleaders. You can laugh if you desire.
Are you done?
I was a flyer, and during my sophomore year, my stunt group, still learning, dropped me a lot in the beginning. After a few times of being dropped, I began to try to analyze each stunt, and if I thought I was going to fall, I would get out of it myself. This is a problem. You teach girls to fall back in a cradle position if they are about to fall, because it makes you easier to catch. If you freak out or step out of the stunt, you are harder to catch and the faces of everyone trying to catch you are now in danger. I had to break myself of the habit for my safety and safety of my friends. In fear, I was attempting to establish control and protect myself.
When I withhold my absolute trust in the Lord, trying to analyze what God is doing, I'm trying to protect myself and be in control. The absurdity of that is why I would think I can do anything better than God. God is my ultimate Protector. My heart and mind are desperately wicked and deceitful Jeremiah says. They can't be trusted. God alone can be trusted, because He loves us as He demonstrated through Christ. David provides such a good example of hiding in the Lord and resting in His protection even when things seemed out of control.
We prayed hard yesterday we would hear about our visas. God's answer was "no" for the time. I don't know why and I'm not going to "lean on my own understanding" to try to figure it out! God has commanded me to "Trust in Him with all my heart." So I will...because I can!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
What would you change?
My husband and I are waiting...and waiting...and waiting! This has been an interesting month thus far. We had planned on leaving for the United Kingdom on August 9th. We've shipped a crate, sold everything else, given away anything we didn't sell or crate, and packed up the rest for the plane. We moved out of our apartment the last day of July thinking we would flying out August 9th. But with other things, our plans are not always God's plans. The Visa process has taken A LOT longer than we had anticipated. But, it's been a good thing too - we've had extra time to spend with friends and family and extra time to really stop and evaluate.
This month also marks our 5 year anniversary - so with all of these changes I've been thinking: "What would I change about the last 5 years of my life?" I really do not have many regrets and I don't want to dwell on failures or should haves, but I do want to evaluate so I live differently in the next 5 years. Does that make sense?
So here's what I came up with:
1. I would have spent more time in the Word
- I would have taken more time to study and know God through His Word. Only through God's Word can I know Him, and only through knowledge of Him can I live more like Him. While I spent time reading, I didn't always dive in and study and make it my heart's desire - the consequences of which are doubting, worry, anxiety, stress, etc.
2. I would have loved my husband better
- This isn't to say I haven't loved him, I just would have demonstrated my love for him in more of my actions. I spent much of our first 5 years of marriage trying to manage all of my expectations of marriage - ones I had placed on me and my husband. When we first got married, I thought it would be relatively simple to love my husband. I soon learned that I am quite a selfish person, and love is more than a feeling but an action. I would have dropped the expectations and sought more each day to show my love for my hubby and focus on the positive.
3. I would have enjoyed the present more than looking back at the past and forward to the future.
- Maybe you don't do this, but I love to think of the past and then I'm anxious for the future. Think about our lives. We long to grow up when we're young (then I hit a spell at 11 where I grieved how grown up I'd become - I realize I'm WEIRD!). Then we're anxious to marry, then anxious to have kids, then anxious for them to grow up - we focus on what's next. At the same time, we long to go back to childhood, or college days, or days without children. I wish I had spent more time enjoying, embracing, and cherishing the present to the fullest instead of being anxious for the future trying to anticipate all that could come up and grieving the loss of the past.
So these are the things I would change if I could go back. It's been a great 5 years, and we have a unique opportunity to begin a new adventure in the UK. So more than what I would change, these are my goals for myself as we move!
How about you? What would you change about the last 5 years and/or how will you live differently in the next 5?
This month also marks our 5 year anniversary - so with all of these changes I've been thinking: "What would I change about the last 5 years of my life?" I really do not have many regrets and I don't want to dwell on failures or should haves, but I do want to evaluate so I live differently in the next 5 years. Does that make sense?
So here's what I came up with:
1. I would have spent more time in the Word
- I would have taken more time to study and know God through His Word. Only through God's Word can I know Him, and only through knowledge of Him can I live more like Him. While I spent time reading, I didn't always dive in and study and make it my heart's desire - the consequences of which are doubting, worry, anxiety, stress, etc.
2. I would have loved my husband better
- This isn't to say I haven't loved him, I just would have demonstrated my love for him in more of my actions. I spent much of our first 5 years of marriage trying to manage all of my expectations of marriage - ones I had placed on me and my husband. When we first got married, I thought it would be relatively simple to love my husband. I soon learned that I am quite a selfish person, and love is more than a feeling but an action. I would have dropped the expectations and sought more each day to show my love for my hubby and focus on the positive.
3. I would have enjoyed the present more than looking back at the past and forward to the future.
- Maybe you don't do this, but I love to think of the past and then I'm anxious for the future. Think about our lives. We long to grow up when we're young (then I hit a spell at 11 where I grieved how grown up I'd become - I realize I'm WEIRD!). Then we're anxious to marry, then anxious to have kids, then anxious for them to grow up - we focus on what's next. At the same time, we long to go back to childhood, or college days, or days without children. I wish I had spent more time enjoying, embracing, and cherishing the present to the fullest instead of being anxious for the future trying to anticipate all that could come up and grieving the loss of the past.
So these are the things I would change if I could go back. It's been a great 5 years, and we have a unique opportunity to begin a new adventure in the UK. So more than what I would change, these are my goals for myself as we move!
How about you? What would you change about the last 5 years and/or how will you live differently in the next 5?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
