Christmas, babies, and life

Wow! Can you believe Christmas is over? I always get a bit glum Christmas Day evening - it seems like you spend the entire month anticipating, planning, celebrating, and then just like that it's over! This year, as hard as it was to miss family gatherings, our home church, friends, and old traditions, I did feel like we thoroughly enjoyed the season - and we didn't DO hardly anything! We stayed home, watched movies, enjoyed our tree, enjoyed visitors, etc.
We have had an interesting December. Leighton decided to make his arrival a week early on December 10th! I went into labor on the 7th and like any avid Christmas shopper, we went to the mall to finish up a few errands! Good thing since I was in labor for days! Wed. morning we went into the hospital to be checked out and were sent home with instructions to take a bath and try to relax. So all day Wed and Thurs. I took baths and TRIED to relax (how do you relax when you are in labor I ask?) Well, finally we went back in Thurs. night and I was far enough along to stay. Leighton was born at 3:20 in the morning on Fri! Our best Christmas present this year!
Due to our early Christmas present, we stayed home much of the rest of December! We were so blessed by friends who brought us tons of food and presents for Leighton and Tanner. So we enjoyed visiting people and just being together! It made this Christmas season special because of its simplicity! Yes, part of me missed the parties, the baking, the food, and I especially missed friends and family, but how nice to just have a simple Christmas and be able to really stop and enjoy it!
Tanner was beyond spoiled, because aside from the gifts we got him, everyone we know here brought him gifts along with Leighton! He has enough chocolate to last him a lifetime!
Now, if we could just all get rid of the Christmas sickness we've all had! We get to enjoy Mimi (my mom) visiting for the next week! At least we're praying her flight makes it without being delayed or canceled! Merry Christmas to all of you! And sorry for the lack of updates! You are all loved and special to our family!

New Traditions - Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving! I love the time with family, the yummy food, the football, and the kick off to the Christmas season. But most of all, I love that it's a Holiday that centers around gratitude and thanks. I love that there are no presents or characters that distract from the meaning of the holiday (that is not to say I don't also love Christmas and all other holidays!)
We felt that even in the UK, it was important to celebrate this time of thanks! And the thought of not having some of our favorite foods the one time of year we enjoy them, was too much to bear! So we planned on it! We also decided to invite two families who we had met to come and join in the feast, after all, there was no way we could eat all of that food by ourselves! The 5 kids had a blast running all over the house, making paper turkeys, and playing. I think our one child was easily the loudest! Eva and Tanner were the hams of the group!
We had a blast laughing and sharing stories with everyone! We introduced sweet potato casserole, cream cheese mashed potatoes, garlic butter green beans, stuffing, turkey, rolls, apple cinnamon cheesecake, and a pumpkin roll! They were delighted, all except Tanner who refused to eat anything except cereal and dessert! What's wrong with this kid? One of the new traditions we started was taking a picture of everyone who came to put in a Thanksgiving Memory book along with everyone's name and what they were thankful for!

Tanner Turns 2!

November 11th was Tan the Man's 2nd birthday, and I haven't gotten to share the many blessings he received on this side of the pond! As his birthday approached I found myself wrestling with the knowledge that he doesn't really understand birthdays yet and doesn't need a whole lot of hoopla, yet the mom in me wanted his birthday to be special nonetheless!
We were in Scotland, actually leaving the day of his birthday, so in lieu of presents I thought he would just have to wait until we got home, but a friend of ours in Scotland saved the day by giving him two gifts. He was ecstatic about his racing cars and play dough. Then on our way home, friends gave him a "Tommy book" - a Thomas the tank engine book. I'll have you know the child has memorized the train behind every flap. That night we took a huge Costco cake to the kid's club for everyone to enjoy. Tanner loved being sung too, and he LOVES cake! He also got another present there from a dear elderly couple who run the mission.
The gifts just didn't end! At church that Sunday, he received another gift, as well as the following Wed. night! This kid got a birthday week and a half, and we were blessed to see people love on him.
Saturday night we had friends over for Chili and cake! We just couldn't let his birthday go by without a Bob and Larry cake. Tanner loved them! Every day he asks for some "Bob cake." Don't ask us why, but he especially likes Bob and Junior from Veggie Tales! He also loved being the center of attention all evening with all adults (only a few more weeks to enjoy this!)! He's a manipulative little booger - always grabbing someone's hand and asking them to come and walk with him wherever his heart desires!
Oh and he's been thrilled with his new train set! Pictures of that will have to follow!

Faith

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

How is your faith? How do you measure or assess your faith?

My faith is rather weak. I'm content to live by faith for a few minutes or even a few days, but when the test of faith lasts or things don't seem to work out the way I expect, I begin to question what God is doing and I begin to worry and stress. We are missionaries with a faith-based ministry; and I should be the first to place my trust in the Lord's provision. We've seen Him work in amazing ways throughout the world and in our own lives; we know God is trustworthy and good, but I'll be honest, while I love to see how God works, it can be a very scary place to be at times. I know I can trust the Lord and He has a perfect plan for us, but I admit I feel much more comfortable when there are few unknowns.
Today the pressures and fears of the unknown began to press in and create that nagging sense of doubt and uncertainty, but in spite of my weak faith, the Lord strengthened my faith today through my time in His Word and His impeccable timing.
We received two gifts today - one in the form of an encouraging e-mail and the other in a box we received from our church in the States (THANK YOU WEBC! We loved it!) The e-mail came literally right after I was sharing with John about how scared and discouraged I felt (Praise the Lord!) and the box about 15 min. later! It was so exciting to sift through our box and read the encouraging words of our friends, see the cans of pumpkin and flavored creamer, and be blessed by gifts both to our coming baby and Tanner that reminded us of the support, prayers, and love from the body of Christ. Tears filled my eyes as I realized God knew what I needed in spite of my lack of faith.
Then His Word - you know how there are days when you just know God leads you to certain passages just to remind you of where your focus and confidence should be. His Word was another gift today...
Hab. 3:17-18 - "Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines. Though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, YET I WILL EXALT IN THE LORD, I WILL REJOICE IN THE GOD OF MY SALVATION."
Ps. 46:1-3 - "GOD IS OUR REFUGE AND STRENGTH, A VERY PRESENT HELP IN TROUBLE. Therefore we will not fear though the mountains slip into the heart of the seas, though the waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake of its swelling pride."
James 5:7-11 - "Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. 9 Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! 10 Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

A couple of thoughts - My initial thought was shame at all of my doubt in light of God's goodness in my life and the real suffering that people endure in the persecuted church, poverty, illnesses - things that are much more difficult than anything I am facing. But, I also know I needed to be reminded again and reflect on God's truth.
If everything were taken away from us, I mean EVERYTHING, would we stand with Habakkuk and say, Yet I will exalt in the Lord?
God IS an ever present help and our refuge and strength - God ALONE! Do I trust that and cling to that?
Notice James' many references to patience! We are to be patient and have confidence that God is compassionate and merciful ALL the time! How is my patience?
And finally - Praise God that in spite of my lack of faith, doubts, and fears, He gives His peace and encouragement through His Word, prayers, e-mails, and boxes!

The Breeding of Discontentment

Discontentment. Again the other night, I felt the Holy Spirit's prick of conviction as I sat in the relentless cycle of comparing my life to others, then feeling guilty for feeling discontent in the face of all the blessings I have been given. Familiar thoughts of why can't I have..., why isn't my life like this, why does this have to happen to me...followed by the overwhelming guilt of I have more than I should want, all I need is Jesus, others have so much less, I'm not trusting God is good, I deserve is death and eternity without God...This vicious cycle attacks without warning, spinning me from dissatisfaction with God to self-loathing and wondering how He could ever love me. Obviously these are lies that I buy into believing. James tells us, "Every good and perfect gift is from above" and John tells us we have abundant life in Christ. We know also that God loved us while we were sinners, and there is nothing we can do to gain more of His love or separate us from His love - He already demonstrated it when we were at our worst. But what causes this discontentment and how can I begin to conquer this sin and say with Paul, "For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." ?
For me, the causes of discontentment come from several "portholes."
- Comparing myself to others
- My plans and desires being unfulfilled
- Insecurity in who I am
- Disappointment
The discontentment comes when I focus on these things rather than choosing to believe that God's way is best, good, and always done out of love for me.
How can I keep from getting on the cycle that just ends in more grief? First, I need to keep praying about it. Second, I want to not only be in the Word daily, but study what God's Word says about contentment and meditate on God's character. Thirdly, I need to limit my time comparing myself to others. For me that partly means limiting my time on Facebook, where I have often found myself wasting time checking statuses and neglecting more profitable things. I need to focus less on what is going on in everybody else's life and find joy in what God called me to do in my home and family. Fourthly, I need to practice praising the Lord in ALL things.
These are incredibly obvious in working on any area in our lives, not to mention clearly mentioned in the Bible (it is the guide for how we should live our lives after all), but so often we just keep getting on the cycle because we never take the steps to get off.
What are your breeding grounds of discontentment and how do you keep from getting there?

"Your sense of security must not rest in your possessions or in things going your way. I am training you to depend on Me alone, finding fulfillment in My Presence. This entails being satisfied with much or with little, accepting either as My will for the moment. Instead of grasping and controlling, you are learning to release and receive. Cultivate this receptive stance by trusting Me in every situation."
I know I quote Sarah Young quite often (probably more than I should based on good blogging tips), but if you do not have one of her devotionals, you are MISSING OUT!

Praise the Lord today!
Shannon

How You too can Win the Best Mom in the World Award!

So this actually happened a few weeks ago, but in honor of us being back in Scotland and almost having a repeat yesterday, I just have to share.
Well, a few weeks ago we were staying in a flat in Scotland, and I needed to take a shower (seriously, I needed to feel like a person and sometimes that means just feeling clean - know what I'm saying?) I looked around the flat and thought "Okay, I can hop in the shower for 5 min. and there's nothing little man can get into." I know, I know this is dangerous, and believe me I can still hear my mom's voice in the back of my head saying "Don't you know, you can't ever leave a toddler unsupervised"...but I really needed a shower!
When I got out, I heard...NOTHING! Now that either means he's not screaming in pain, he's gone, or he's into something. As I rounded the corner, there he was sitting in the middle of the living room happily munching on Tums (these are a necessity for this mom in our household these days), with a beautiful pastel rainbow of drool on his shirt. He had eaten A LOT of them! What do you do? What any mother who has no idea what the number for poison control might be here in the UK, I googled TUMS and tried to find out if I had indeed just poisoned my child (who I might add was still smiling and running around as happy as could be over his little snack!) Thankfully, I couldn't find any horrendous side effects, just that I shouldn't give him any more milk products (go figure!) And Thankfully, I saw my friend Laura that day (she is a nurse!) and she reassured me he should be fine, but I may have an unpleasant diaper to change.
Now just in case you think I'm really not quite with it by not only leaving my child unattended, but also leaving a bottle of Tums lying within reach, let me just reassure you! The little turkey had climbed on the bed to reach the tums that were on the high dresser. And he tried again, by the way, climbing on the bed on top of the dresser to reach them on the mirror's ledge. It's an obsession, I tell you!
The Best Mom award, by the way, definitely was well deserved, or maybe you could consider it my punishment, was in having to clean the massive blowout that occurred later that evening while we are eating dinner at a family's house and I ran out of wipes and I had no extra clothes for my poor child and he immediately had a horrible diaper rash all over his bum and leg and I had to ask this sweet woman if I could not only borrow her son's clothing, but if I could also stick him in the bathtub (and I know this is a run-on - it's an intentional one for any of you who are wondering ;-) ). It was quite a day, and one we almost (thankfully we didn't) repeated yesterday, when my dear husband left the bottle of tums on our bedside table! OBSESSED I tell you!

The Heart of Worship

I sat in the nursery alone with my son, tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of missing worship...AGAIN. Around me he played, delighted at the fun new toys, the "choo choos," the shape sorter, the books - all of it was so exciting to him. And I felt utterly alone, at a new church, new people, a new way of doing things...it's not only a feeling of being alone, but of feeling lost - not knowing the way things run at the church, not knowing who to ask or what to expect.
My heart longed to worship My Savior, to hear the Word, to fellowship with believers, and yet here I was again alone in the nursery with a toddler who just won't sit still or stay quiet in church. "Why, Lord?" my heart cried.
Slowly, I am realizing, that worship is more than praise songs, hearing a message, being with believers. Those are all wonderful, God-given gifts to us for us to experience Him more deeply and together. However, in this season of my life, God is teaching me to worship Him solitariness, learning to see Him all around me, to bask in His presence no matter what my circumstances are. This season of my life is about embracing the wonderful relationship I am able to have with God through Christ. It is recognizing that He is my most essential need, and He has already and will always meet it. As, I see this time as a precious gift, instead of a frustration, I am more thankful that God is using this time to turn my heart to Him, learn contentment in Him, and love Him more deeply.

Betty Crocker I am NOT!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to cook! And I've been eagerly anticipating the day I could cook fun-themed treats with my kiddo (His picky tendencies are not working very well in my favor).
My adventure for today was super cute Jack-O-Lantern popcorn balls. It began several days ago in attempting to locate corn syrup, which they evidently do not sell here. "No problem," I thought. A little google and wallah - a recipe (it's basically sugar syrup).
Next we popped our own popcorn (this is very simple, but I felt quite accomplished). So far, so good.
Then the next step...was to make candy syrup to make the popcorn stick. This was not so simple, and it took FOREVER! I have a whole new appreciation for candy makers. After forty-five minutes of boiling a sugar mixture, food coloring, and several burned fingers (complete with blisters), we had some sticky candied popcorn!
The end result tasted yummy... the presentation needs a bit of work! And the clean up...let's just say I married an amazing man who diligently worked to chip away at some very hard candied pans so I could nurse my poor fingers (which will be recovering for the next few days) and saving our pans. But, we do have one very happy toddler! And we even thought we'd share with workers at the Kid's Club tonight.

A baby, Midwives, OB's, OH MY!

One of the first things I had to do in moving to the UK is figure out the healthcare system here and find a doctor, seeing as I was 25 weeks pregnant when we moved here. No big deal, right? Well, we have learned rather quickly that things work a bit differently here...

- We were taken to the local surgery. As we drove up to the small office, I was envisioning delivering our child in one of the tiny examining rooms with whatever general practitioner was available, right alongside any other minor surgeries they would encounter that day. We soon learned that a surgery was a doctor's clinic, NOT where they operate!
- Midwives - In the states whenever I mentioned midwives were frequently used here, people immediately asked if I was having a home birth. This is most certainly NOT the case, not that home births are bad, I'm just rather partial to hospitals and especially nurses to take care of my every need! Yes, I realize I am not very pioneering. I cried when we left the hospital with Tan Man because I loved my nurses so much. The midwives rotate on shifts at the hospital and doctor's office, so you see a lot of different ones, but then one will stay with you during the entire labor process. They call in an OB if there is any kind of concern
- C-sections vs. Natural deliveries - Thankfully, they are very favorable of natural births here in the UK. I had a c-section with our first, but they were very happy to let me try to have this one naturally if I chose, in fact they encourage it! They do however, make sure I am hooked to an IV, being monitored, and do not labor too long. And they sent me to the hospital to see the OB just to make sure.
- The Theater! We were ecstatic to learn that they have a theater in the maternity ward (John was especially happy about this!). I know all of you moms would have loved to be lulled by the Big Screen during labor - doesn't that sound posh! Our hopes were crushed, however, when we learned the theater was the name of the operating room! Darn! And I had been planning on what movies to watch!
- Epidurals - Now, just as a disclaimer, I went into my pregnancy with Tan Man saying I would take one if I needed it, but after 3 days of back labor, I walked in asking for one...this is my excuse for having an epidural (I'm sure it couldn't be that I'm a big baby!) The other part of this disclaimer is that I know some of you are amazing ladies and faced labor all on your own - you are my heroes! Well, here they are not big fans of the epidural. The first midwife's words were something like: "That is not natural labor. Lying down is the worst position and just not natural." I did have to bite my tongue to not ask, "And when have you been in labor?" (She hasn't had any kids yet, I checked) I wanted to say, that I rather enjoyed not having any pain, not knowing when contractions were coming, and lying down...somehow I didn't think it would go over so well, so I kept my mouth shut!
- Inducing - Um yeah...so they induce only when you are 15 days late (yes, I said 15!) In fact, when I met with the OB she told me my next appointment would be on Dec. 23 (My due date is the 15th) if I hadn't had the baby yet! I think I just kind of stared at her with my mouth slightly gaping! I'm all about going into labor naturally, I'm just really hoping this is before I'm two weeks late and into Christmas!

And this isn't even to mention all the different names (dummys, pushchairs, nappies, just to name a few) I have to say, after hearing about giving birth in the Philippines and in Korea, I'm thankful that these are the ones we've encountered, and none of them are bad! I'm still a little bummed about not getting to watch movies...

Facing the Giants (not the movie...)

Only a boy named David,
Only a ripping brook,
Only a boy named David,
But 5 little stones he took.
Who doesn't know this story? I mean who doesn't love the story of a little squirt going up against a huge giant with just 5 stones and a slingshot. Not to mention, he was willing when all the other Israelites, including their handsome, most macho man in the kingdom King Saul, were too scared to fight him. It's a story fit for Hollywood!
But after spending the last several days re-reading this timeless story, I was struck by all the discouragement David received. First his brother, Eliab, criticized his motives (1 Sam. 17:28), then King Saul was skeptical of his ability (vs. 33), finally Goliath belittled him (vs. 43-44). Not one person stated in the Bible cheered him on, applauded his bravery, or even offered word of encouragement. They thought he would fail. I would have walked home after the first comment, too ashamed I had made my brother upset and convinced I had misread my motives and had sinned. (I'm a people pleaser, can you tell?) If for some reason I had made it to Saul, I would have humbly agreed I was too inexperienced and left then.
But David's trust in the Lord was unwavering. He knew the criticizers were wrong. Listen to his statements:
"For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should taunt the armies of the living God?" (vs. 26)
"He will deliver me from the hand of the Philistine." (vs. 37)
"But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the Lord will deliver you up into my hands...that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel."

The other thing that struck me was David's concern not just for his country, or his brothers who were fighting, but for the name of the Lord. He couldn't bear for the name of God to be a reproach to God's enemies. He absolutely trusted and believed in the power, sovereignty, and greatness of the one and only living God that no one could taunt or dishonor. Do I love the name of the Lord that it grieves me to see it dishonored?

I wish I could say I was like David - full of faith, courage, and action. But, I'm quite honestly a lot like the rest of Israel. I become paralyzed by any kind of "giants." My "faith" becomes riddled with seeds of doubt. I wonder if God will come to my aid. I take any kind of discouragement to heart and lose perspective of what God can do, becoming fearful of what man thinks.

Thankfully, my God forgives my unbelief. He delights in using the small, the weak, the average. And He continually demonstrates His presence and power in my life. What about you? Do you take after David and crusade ahead full of faith in the Living God or do you tend to be found among the Israelites worried and scared that all is lost?

And one little stone went into the air
And the giant came tumbling down!

A Thankful Thursday

Yes, we are alive and so thankful! Since it's my first post back, I thought I'd just share a list of thanks! These are in no certain order!
I'm thankful for:
1. Internet! (You have no idea how disconnected we were feeling!)
2. A lovely house that was the perfect answer to prayer
3. Boxes being unpacked
4. A healthy pregnancy and little man growing(We meet him in 8 weeks! Yikes!)
5. Connections with friends and family in America
6. The Kid's clubs we get to be a part of each week!
7. Fall - leaves falling, chilly air, and pumpkins in the stores!
8. A working oven and pots/pans! (seriously, I've missed my friends! Let the baking/cooking begin!)
9. An exuberant toddler becoming more and more settled!
10. My husband working from home!
11. TV (I know this is carnal, but after months of not having one and enjoying that, it's been nice)
12. Charity shops with inexpensive furniture!

I know this seems like I've jumped forward a bit to Thanksgiving, but I just wanted to focus on some of the things these last couple of weeks has brought forth! What are you thankful for today?

Stop Looking at the Clock

I admit, I'm a time watcher...I know this is utterly American of me, but I'm constantly concerned about time, and usually not for good reasons. Is it time for lunch yet? nap time? bath time? bed time?
I was thinking about all the time I spend with Tanner wishing it away. This is true confessions, people! I love spending time with him, but it gets tiring, I get lazy or bored, or I just want "my" time. Some days I feel like all I say is "no" the entire day. As I realized how time conscience I was, I realized, I was going to wish away my precious boy's life by failing to stop and just enjoy him, focusing on the good and funny things these toddler days bring. I decided I needed to stop looking at my watch (maybe even not wear it!) and waiting for the next thing in our day, and enjoy each moment, because they truly are small gifts! Here are a few of my small gifts over the last couple of days!

Tanner LOVES TV (he takes after the Foster side on this one!) I had to smile yesterday when he was asking for "Bob" (a.k.a. "VeggieTales"), "Choo Choo" (a.k.a. Thomas the Tank Engine"), followed by "Pow" (a.k.a. "Cars"). He names his books similarly...no one else has any clue what he's talking about, but me!

Tanner's new favorite pastime is church. I have to admit, it sounds great for an MK to be asking to go to church every day, but in reality his idea of church is cookies, toys, and being made the center of attention by the people there.

And this morning, we awoke to Tanner saying, "A, A, Apple" - I know, he's a genius. He already knows the letter A's sound and an example! It was followed however, by "A, A, Car" - Well, we're working on it! He did tell me "M, M, Mommy!" today too, and what mom doesn't love that!

"This is the path

I have set before you..."

I've definitely been off the radar for a while. We do not have internet or phones yet, so right now our option is to go to the local coffee shop to check e-mail, and as you can well imagine, doing that with a toddler is not quite so fun...Thankfully, that should be changing soon as our bank accounts are set up and the UK government deems us not a threat to their country!
I have missed writing...so here's my thought for today!

"This is the path I have set before you."
How encouraging that God has set before us a path, not always easy or what we may have chosen left to ourselves, but one He has chosen for us for our good and His glory. He knows where it leads, the terrain, the twists and turns, all of it - and He chose it especially for you! It reminds me of my favorite Robert Frost poem (you probably know the one)..."Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference."

"Live first and foremost in My Presence. Gradually you will become more aware of Me than of people and places around you. This awareness will not detract from you relationships with others. Instead, it will increase your ability to give love and encouragement to them."

Sometimes I find myself looking for relationships to be my source of satisfaction. I look for people to give to me and hope that I can some how give back to them. The problem with that is I lose focus of God's Presence, which is NOT the path God has for me. In fact, it's been a good thing to have the Lord remove close relationships from my life for the time being so I can learn to live first and foremost in His Presence. It really is the only way to really love and give to people. It's also the path that God has chosen for each to KNOW HIM and the reality of His Presence in our everyday lives. Let that be our utmost priority today to first and foremost live in the Presence of God.

From across the ocean!

I'm happy to say our crate has arrived!

(It actually arrived on Wednesday, but I wanted to share pictures, so I waited to post)

Tanner and I were so excited to see it come, and Tanner's excitement has increased daily as his toys have been slowly reappearing! It's all just stuff, but it's amazing what a feeling of home it brings.
I've been going through the process of looking through each box for damaged items. We're not unpacking everything, because we have to move again in a few weeks. But, since we're all tired of living out of suitcases for the last 3 months, I'm bringing out some comforts!
The favorites so far -
Tanner - his toys and books for sure (I must say I was getting rather tired of the same 4 books, but that said, he's made me read the "Piper" book 6 times already today!
Me - my cookbooks!!!! Followed my wonderfully comfortable bed! Don't worry, it does have a sheet and blankets on it now!
We're so thankful to see a glimpse of the items that made our house a "home." And even move excited that John comes home tomorrow! But for tonight, I'm curling up with the laptop to watch an impossibly girly DVD from the crate!

Sweet Potato Victory

Appreciating the small victories!
We have had an ongoing battle with getting Tanner to eat what we serve him. God is definitely teaching me a lesson in humility, because before kids I would have sworn to never have a picky eater! And lo and behold, I have a picky eater. He has regularly seen his plate of food and promptly burst into tears. He's gone a day eating only a piece of bread. To be honest, it's a battle I'm having a hard time deciding how to handle. I'm not into cooking multiple meals for people's preferences. And I want him to eat well-balanced and healthy. I also want him to learn to eat what is offered to him, so he learns to be thankful.
Anyway all that to say, the other night, he ate all of his chicken nuggets! I know, I told you this kid is picky (he does not like normal kid food - hot dogs, chicken nuggets, cheese - at least he's a big fan of fruit!). But this one night, he happily ate homemade chicken nuggets. To make it even better, I had added sweet potato puree to the egg mixture so they had added health, and they were yummy!
It's the little victories! Celebrate the little things today!

This World is Not My Home....

"This world is not my home I'm just passing through
my treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
the angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
and I can't feel at home in this world anymore"

If you know this song and are like me, you can't help but hear it and start clapping and stomping your feet with a goofy smile on your lips. With moving to a foreign country, I have thought a lot about "home" the last couple of weeks. And I had to admit, there have been several days when my only thought has been "I just want to go home." (said in my head as a long whine) And why? Because home is where we feel secure, comfortable, and safe. It is familiar.
But as I thought about it, that while it may take me some time for the UK to feel as familiar and comfortable as home, I had wrongly made my "home" in Richmond, VA. I found security, safety, familiarity, and comfort more in this world (in Target, Starbucks, my friends, my modern bathroom, my comfortable apartment, etc.) than I have in Christ and the hope of heaven. Sadly, many times my focus was more on things here on this earth, than things of eternity and a longing for heaven. In Ephesians, Paul tells us God has prepared us to sit with Him in the heavenly realms. Why then are we so content with the craziness of this world? God has so much more for us.
Moving overseas has provided not only an amazing opportunity to be part of God's work here, but also the opportunity to be thrown out of my comfort zone into a place where I have to find comfort and dependence on God. It's made me much more aware of where I've placed my value of home.
Where is your "home"? Where are you looking to for comfort and security?
"For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 5:6
Where is your mind set on? Is is set on eternal things or worldly things?
The Bible spells it out clearly: "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in this world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away and also its lusts, but the one who does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:15-16
I'll be the first to admit, I have found myself loving the world and buying into the lie that happiness can be found in it. But, I want to be different. I want life and peace that God promises when we set our mind on the Spirit. I want to find my home in Christ alone, wherever this world takes me. Then I can truly find "home."

Unwrapping Tuesday: New Friends, Same Tastes!

I love this idea of "Unwrapping Tuesdays" by giving thanks and appreciating the small things in life! We have noticed many differences in the two weeks we've been here, especially dealing with food we can and can't get. And in the land of tea, I have really missed coffee. Well, let me clarify - many people drink coffee here, but alas the truth comes out. I am not a true coffee connoisseur - I really enjoy the flavored creamer I drink with my coffee (I know, I know - if you could see me my head would be down in disgrace.) And I have to admit, I have scoured every grocery store we've been in to see if they have it!
Last week, I had the privilege of meeting a young mom and her two adorable girls. Her bubbly personality and friendliness immediately endeared me to her. I was also so relived to meet anyone my age with children that carried with it even the hint of a possibility of friendship! However, I knew true friendship may indeed be a reality when she told me the two things she always asks her parents to bring back from the states when the visit! Are you ready:
Canned Pumpkin (what is fall without this?) and Flavored Creamer!
I couldn't believe it - a girl after my own heart! The two things I love (and miss!)from home! I could have jumped up and hugged her right then while declaring my loyalty and undying friendship forever!
Praise the Lord for shared tastes and new friends in the making! It made me realize the Lord knows even our favorite tastes! What a reminder of His great love and personal attention to us!

Judging

Do you have a problem with judging?

This morning I was reading Sarah Young's thoughts for today in her devotional Jesus Calling. Here's what she said:
" Give your mind a break from its habitual judging. You form judgments about this situation, that situation, this person, that person, yourself, even the weather - as if judging were your main function in life. But I created you first and foremost to know Me and to live in rich communication with Me. When you become preoccupied with passing judgment, you usurp My role...Rather than evaluating My ways with you, accept them thankfully. The intimacy I offer you is not an invitation to act as if you were My equal."
I'll admit my first thought, "Oh good, I'm not struggling with judging people, at least not this week. This is a nice thought and one for me to remember for the future, but not really relevant right now." Upon further reflection, however, I started to think of how often I make judgments on my circumstances. In essence, I place judgment on God for what He has chosen to do in my life, which is the same as making myself an equal with God. That is a grave mistake and a sin.
- What kind of clay says to the potter, "Why did you make me this way?" How absurd coming from something as useless as a lump of clay. (Rom. 9:20-21)
- What kind of sheep says to the shepherd, "No, I think we should go this way instead." What does a dumb sheep know over the shepherd?
- What kind of subject dares tell a king what to do or how he's wrong. That's grounds for imprisonment or beheading.
- And what creation tries to inform the Creator of what He should have done with it. Without the power and design of the Creator, it wouldn't exist.

Do you see the absurdity? Have you, like me, found yourself passing judgments upon what God has brought into your life, rather than accepting it thankfully and worshiping Him for it? For He alone is the "blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords" (1 Tim. 6:15) I wonder how much richer our walk with the Lord would be if we lived foremost for knowing God more deeply (John 17:3)and worried less about judging?

Fears and flight

Hello from Sunderland, England! We made it! Despite my lack of presence online, we did arrive a little over a week ago and are beginning to adjust to life (more to add to that later).
My two anxieties over flying were:
a.) If our luggage was too heavy or awkward shaped - I had visions of having to throw out clothes and other items at the airport in front of a line of angry, impatient people and in front of the loved ones who came to see us off!
b.) Tanner would not cooperate on the flight leaving two exhausted, frazzled parents and several hundred irate passengers.

Thankfully, the Lord was gracious to us on both accounts. All of our luggage was accepted, including our 7 1/2 foot Christmas tree (yes, we were definitely "those" people - but hey we're moving here! And we got an unbeatable deal on it!) And Tanner did considerably well for his first flight. He watched lots of movies (Praise the Lord for Veggie Tales and individual screens on the airbuses packed with cartoons). He cried some, but the plane was so loud, I don't think he bothered many people, and to be honest, I didn't care when the time came! I figured it was a relatively short time in the grand scheme of life, the airplane was really loud, and I would never see these people again!
On a sweet note, when we arrived in Dusseldorf, Germany it was so special to see Tanner and this little boy (I think he was Russian) play together. They played chase, and matchbox cars, and even watched some Veggie Tales together. It's amazing how play can span cultures and languages (not that Tanner has much of a language right now, except his own), but neither one cared!

This is Tanner and his new friend. Sorry about only getting the backside - they moved too fast!


Here's Tanner at the airport, looking awake and happy! It's two in the morning US time!

A Time for Adventure and New Beginnings

I've probably mentioned the last several months have been a period of waiting and limbo, actually it may be more like the last several years, depending on how you look at it. Well, today is the day of new beginnings and new adventures...
and as exciting as that is, it's also scary. I'm not much of an adventure girl. I like the occasional "safe" adventure, you know the kind where you just follow the lead of someone else or the masses who have done it many time before. Embarking on new cultures, new ministry, new EVERYTHING terrifies me! But, I'm confident this is God's next step for us.
Right as I woke up this morning, God impressed on my heart a verse -
Matthew 7:11 - If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
My Father gives good gifts! This new adventure is not something to be feared or anxious about, because it is a good gift, the only kind He gives! And that is energizing! So bring on 3 airports, an overnight flight with a busy toddler, way too many bags, a new country, home, and ministry! This is a good gift to embrace!
Besides, ready or not here it comes today...

Sweet Moments

In the midst of temper tantrums, diapers, throwing toys, and constant movement, I'll admit it can be difficult to find pleasure in this stage of life. Most days I think we have hit "terrible two's" (my friends say "terrible threes" but the thought of that is too depressing this far out!) way too early!
But, this morning I was reminded to stop and "unwrap Tuesdays" by slowing down and appreciating the small things in life. Here's the moment for today:
I'm not sure if he's my child or maybe even more so, takes after my father, but my sweet toddler has a fetish with things being a certain way. For example, he will close any door that he sees open even if it means stopping eating to do so, he will pick up his toys without being told, and his cup must be in the cup holder of his tray. This morning my sweet boy, picked up my empty coffee cup to take a swig. Then he took off with it. The next thing we heard was dishes clanging (never a good sign!). John took off running, both of us sure he had just gotten into the cabinets and was destroying something. We clearly have high expectations of our child...
Instead, our cutie pie had stood on his tippy toes and dropped my mug in the sink, right where it needed to go. Thankfully nothing broke, and he was beaming with pride at being so helpful! I love this kid! Way to melt your momma's heart!
What are you savoring today?

Trust in the Lord

The "With All my Heart" title of this blog you probably figured out came from Prov. 3:5-6. It's a verse that's been on my mind a lot the past few months. It's at the bottom of the page, but for the sake of you having to scroll down, here it is:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."

"Trust in the Lord" I can't count the number of times I've heard those 4 words thrown out or that I've thrown out. It seems like such a simple command, and yet we struggle. Maybe we struggle trusting people in general, or maybe we are so conditioned to only relying on ourselves. When we learned this verse with the kids at church, our sign for "trust" was to pretend to do a trust fall. Now I do believe that's a picture of what it is to trust God completely, but my concept of trust falls was a bit skewed as an elementary camper.

At camp one year, our cabin's assignment was to trust fall from a log into the waiting arms of our cabin mates. Most of us weren't in fact too trusting of each other as was evidenced by our wary glances backward or our crazy crooked falls, but my friend Ashley was. She climbed onto the log eagerly and confidently turned around with her back to us. We waited with anticipation, arms raised, ready to demonstrate our faithfulness to her. I can see this in slow motion - she fell back, straight as a board, exactly as she was supposed to. We caught her gleefully, then the horror as she slipped right through our arms and hit her head on a stump. I promise it was an accident, and she is okay today!

Sometimes as I consider trust, my mind goes back to this picture. The reality is we were fallible and not completely trustworthy, but God is. He's faithful to all of His promises. If we have any doubt, we need to consider the cross that "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He is perfect and cannot do anything that goes against His nature, which is good ALL the time. He isn't like my elementary cabin group who tried really hard, but just couldn't do it. He is God, and He promises that "All things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to HIS PURPOSES."

The next part of the verse is the one I've had to really grapple with - "Lean not on your own understanding"
"Yes, Lord I'll trust you, but only if I can figure out what You're going to do." I try to analyze the situation, prepare myself for the outcome, and know what to expect. Trust me I'm an OVER analyzer! What I'm trying to do is be in control and protect myself.

I cheered during my high school years - Yes, I know you probably made fun of cheerleaders. You can laugh if you desire.
Are you done?
I was a flyer, and during my sophomore year, my stunt group, still learning, dropped me a lot in the beginning. After a few times of being dropped, I began to try to analyze each stunt, and if I thought I was going to fall, I would get out of it myself. This is a problem. You teach girls to fall back in a cradle position if they are about to fall, because it makes you easier to catch. If you freak out or step out of the stunt, you are harder to catch and the faces of everyone trying to catch you are now in danger. I had to break myself of the habit for my safety and safety of my friends. In fear, I was attempting to establish control and protect myself.

When I withhold my absolute trust in the Lord, trying to analyze what God is doing, I'm trying to protect myself and be in control. The absurdity of that is why I would think I can do anything better than God. God is my ultimate Protector. My heart and mind are desperately wicked and deceitful Jeremiah says. They can't be trusted. God alone can be trusted, because He loves us as He demonstrated through Christ. David provides such a good example of hiding in the Lord and resting in His protection even when things seemed out of control.

We prayed hard yesterday we would hear about our visas. God's answer was "no" for the time. I don't know why and I'm not going to "lean on my own understanding" to try to figure it out! God has commanded me to "Trust in Him with all my heart." So I will...because I can!

What would you change?

My husband and I are waiting...and waiting...and waiting! This has been an interesting month thus far. We had planned on leaving for the United Kingdom on August 9th. We've shipped a crate, sold everything else, given away anything we didn't sell or crate, and packed up the rest for the plane. We moved out of our apartment the last day of July thinking we would flying out August 9th. But with other things, our plans are not always God's plans. The Visa process has taken A LOT longer than we had anticipated. But, it's been a good thing too - we've had extra time to spend with friends and family and extra time to really stop and evaluate.
This month also marks our 5 year anniversary - so with all of these changes I've been thinking: "What would I change about the last 5 years of my life?" I really do not have many regrets and I don't want to dwell on failures or should haves, but I do want to evaluate so I live differently in the next 5 years. Does that make sense?
So here's what I came up with:
1. I would have spent more time in the Word

- I would have taken more time to study and know God through His Word. Only through God's Word can I know Him, and only through knowledge of Him can I live more like Him. While I spent time reading, I didn't always dive in and study and make it my heart's desire - the consequences of which are doubting, worry, anxiety, stress, etc.
2. I would have loved my husband better
- This isn't to say I haven't loved him, I just would have demonstrated my love for him in more of my actions. I spent much of our first 5 years of marriage trying to manage all of my expectations of marriage - ones I had placed on me and my husband. When we first got married, I thought it would be relatively simple to love my husband. I soon learned that I am quite a selfish person, and love is more than a feeling but an action. I would have dropped the expectations and sought more each day to show my love for my hubby and focus on the positive.
3. I would have enjoyed the present more than looking back at the past and forward to the future.
- Maybe you don't do this, but I love to think of the past and then I'm anxious for the future. Think about our lives. We long to grow up when we're young (then I hit a spell at 11 where I grieved how grown up I'd become - I realize I'm WEIRD!). Then we're anxious to marry, then anxious to have kids, then anxious for them to grow up - we focus on what's next. At the same time, we long to go back to childhood, or college days, or days without children. I wish I had spent more time enjoying, embracing, and cherishing the present to the fullest instead of being anxious for the future trying to anticipate all that could come up and grieving the loss of the past.

So these are the things I would change if I could go back. It's been a great 5 years, and we have a unique opportunity to begin a new adventure in the UK. So more than what I would change, these are my goals for myself as we move!

How about you? What would you change about the last 5 years and/or how will you live differently in the next 5?

Memory Tray

Whenever I look at the date of my last post, I just cringe! Over a month has gone by since I last posted, and in that post I commented how I'm not doing so well at the whole blog thing! It isn't that I don't have things to say...I think I talk to myself in blog format (I know this is a bit weird! So no laughing please!) I just haven't had time or made the time to do it!
Anyway, my favorite part of discovering the blog world is all of the creative ideas I get. I have no creativity of my own, but I'm very good at stealing ideas! My little sister is getting married in August and her shower was at the end of May. I could not figure out what to give her. I wanted something a little more special than off the registry, but she is super creative! That's a problem since I have no creativity and could never compete with Melissa! However, when one of my favorite blogs, The Whimsical Princess,showed this adorable Memory Tray, I knew I had found it! So I used her idea to create one for my sister.
She used an old cabinet door as the frame; I was able to find the frame of an old mirror of my grandfather's. It was an off white color, so I sanded it and painted it black, spray painted Mardi Gra beads and glued them around the frame.




Then I scrapbooked a collage of their engagement pictures, using the sepia ones to make an old look. Kristin Partin, an amazing photographer, was awesome! She took great pictures and even let me heve them to use for the project.



Finally, my amazing husband and grandfather cut plywood and plexiglass to fit the frame. This was no small feat, as we were not cutting a rectangle, but an oval! This is extremely difficult, and they did an awesome job! Finally we glued super cute handles, and WALLA! we have a cute memory tray! I want one for myself now! And it was so much fun to get in touch with creative side!
The finished project:




Shannon

My pity party

The last few weeks, I have very successfully thrown myself quite a big party! A PITY party that is, and for no good reason. Maybe it was partially due to the pregnancy hormones or the fact that up until this week, I couldn't think of a day where I had felt good. Don't get me wrong -I am ecstatic about this new little life that we have prayed for and dreamed about, and he or she is worth any fits of crying or bouts of nausea. My pity party may have been induced by sheer exhaustion of traveling and dealing with a toddler and his fits. Again, I dearly love my peanut, but this is a hard and trying stage! But regardless of the reason, I was just feeling sorry for myself.
I was choosing to allow my emotions to reign over truth in my life. I had convinced myself no one cared, I had no friends, something was wrong with me, I was a terrible wife and mom, and on and on. Are you starting to feel sorry for me? Have any of you been there? The bottom line is, it was my emotions running wild, and there is no excuse.
Finally it hit me-the only one I was hurting was me by choosing to live this way! Well, my hubby and kiddo were certainly not benefitting from it, not to mention my poor house, which I had neglected due to my lethargy. I needed to consciously choose to believe what is TRUE. I do have friends, I do have a church that cares, I have a God who is working in my life to make me more like Him, which will make a better wife and mother. And I needed to start looking for people I could bless! So after weeks of living in loneliness and isolation of my own choosing, I called some friends and a funny thing happened - the feelings changed!
"Finally bretheren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8
Don't you just love how the Bible is so true!

Blessings,
Shannon

Money and Mission

So clearly I had much better intentions in updating this blog than I am currently doing. I keep thinking about writing, even know what I want to write about, but for some reason I keep waiting for the perfect time. Then I'm too tired, the computer is off, I'm too lazy, and the excuses continue! But this is NOT what I wanted to write about.
Actually, I had saved a list of facts that I wanted to share since last weekend, and now can I find them? Of course not! I'm going to do my best. My husband and I are missionaries with Word of Life Fellowship, and we are currently finishing raising support to go to the United Kingdom. Last weekend (the one before Mother's Day) we were at a missions conference in northern VA. Sunday morning that pastor gave one of the most compelling messages regarding giving to missions, and not simply because I am a missionary in need of support. I was convicted and saddened by the lack of emphasis we, I, put upon giving our money to God's Work!

• Only 15% of pastors say missions is one of their priorities
• Only $0.10 of every $100 goes to missions in the average church
• The average American family makes $34,000 a year and only gives about $15/weekly (This is one I'm not sure I cited exactly right, but it is an alarming statistic)
• The average American family only gives about $2.00 towards missions

I was stunned! The pastor went on to speak about eternal investments! It hit me later that week as I continued to think about what God calls us to give - that all of our money goes either towards our own desires (which are not always bad) or towards eternal rewards. When we give to God's work that others would know Him, we are investing in eternal things, not temporal ones. So where's my money going? Am I only concerned about things that will benefit me here or am I thinking heavenly and putting my money in what I say is the most important thing anyone could have - Jesus?
Here's Paul's thoughts:
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. 15 Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; 16 for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid again and again when I was in need. 17 Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your account. 18 I have received full payment and even more; I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. 19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:12-19
You know the sweetest promise is at the end of this passage. When we give to the Lord so that others will know Him, He WILL meet all of our needs!

Blessings,
Shannon

Reaching Out

Tonight I attended my fourth Pampered Chef Party of 2010. Now don't get me wrong - I felt like a whole new world of products and ideas opened up to me when I was introduced to PC. In fact, one of the shows I attended was my own, and I've made a good friend in the consultant, Theresa! She's brilliant!
But what made this one different, and truthfully the main reason I went tonight was the outreach! My friend hosted a party with the specific purpose of reaching out to her neighbors to build better relationships with them and hopefully share Jesus with them. What a fantastic idea! She wasn't in it for the free products or the discounts; she saw it simply as a way to build relationships for the purpose of Christ. She inspires me! I definitely did not have that motivation when I hosted a show - I thought, "Wow a great time with my friends and free stuff for my kitchen!" Judy was eternally-minded and kingdom-focused.
It was a small crew of us, and in fact I was the only non-neighbor, but it was a fun time of laughing, eating, and getting to know one another. And Judy's neighbors were truly blessed by her and her family!
How about you? I know this in an area where I need improvement - sadly, living in an apartment, I don't even know my neighbors! What do you do to reach out to others for the purpose of Christ and sharing Him?

Peeling off the Mask

Here it is....my very first blog post!
You know in thinking about what to write for the first time, all of these thoughts were swimming through my head, but now that I'm sitting here, I can't think of anything!
What do you blog about? I suppose the answer could be yourself, although that does seem pretty egocentric. I could blog about the cutest toddler in the entire world, what God is teaching me, my lack of creativity but my attempt at it, and a host of other things. I think that's the novelty in blogging. There are blogs about everything and quite a few about nothing, but they hold one thing in common. They bring people together.
That reveals to me our desparate need for each other. We're all looking for someone to connect to, to talk to , to be transparent to, to listen to, to share to...That's why blogging communities exist. That's why this blog exists. There's something inside each of us just longing to be who we are with no expectations or judgments.
Thus the subtitle of this blog: peeling off the mask. Let's just be real with each other. I'm certainly not perfect, although most of the time I try to appear so. I'm just another Christian stay-at-home wife and mom who's attempting to live like Christ in a world that's anything but and learning daily to "Trust in the Lord WITH ALL MY HEART." Join me in this journey together!