I've probably mentioned the last several months have been a period of waiting and limbo, actually it may be more like the last several years, depending on how you look at it. Well, today is the day of new beginnings and new adventures...
and as exciting as that is, it's also scary. I'm not much of an adventure girl. I like the occasional "safe" adventure, you know the kind where you just follow the lead of someone else or the masses who have done it many time before. Embarking on new cultures, new ministry, new EVERYTHING terrifies me! But, I'm confident this is God's next step for us.
Right as I woke up this morning, God impressed on my heart a verse -
Matthew 7:11 - If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
My Father gives good gifts! This new adventure is not something to be feared or anxious about, because it is a good gift, the only kind He gives! And that is energizing! So bring on 3 airports, an overnight flight with a busy toddler, way too many bags, a new country, home, and ministry! This is a good gift to embrace!
Besides, ready or not here it comes today...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Sweet Moments
In the midst of temper tantrums, diapers, throwing toys, and constant movement, I'll admit it can be difficult to find pleasure in this stage of life. Most days I think we have hit "terrible two's" (my friends say "terrible threes" but the thought of that is too depressing this far out!) way too early!
But, this morning I was reminded to stop and "unwrap Tuesdays" by slowing down and appreciating the small things in life. Here's the moment for today:
I'm not sure if he's my child or maybe even more so, takes after my father, but my sweet toddler has a fetish with things being a certain way. For example, he will close any door that he sees open even if it means stopping eating to do so, he will pick up his toys without being told, and his cup must be in the cup holder of his tray. This morning my sweet boy, picked up my empty coffee cup to take a swig. Then he took off with it. The next thing we heard was dishes clanging (never a good sign!). John took off running, both of us sure he had just gotten into the cabinets and was destroying something. We clearly have high expectations of our child...
Instead, our cutie pie had stood on his tippy toes and dropped my mug in the sink, right where it needed to go. Thankfully nothing broke, and he was beaming with pride at being so helpful! I love this kid! Way to melt your momma's heart!
What are you savoring today?
But, this morning I was reminded to stop and "unwrap Tuesdays" by slowing down and appreciating the small things in life. Here's the moment for today:
I'm not sure if he's my child or maybe even more so, takes after my father, but my sweet toddler has a fetish with things being a certain way. For example, he will close any door that he sees open even if it means stopping eating to do so, he will pick up his toys without being told, and his cup must be in the cup holder of his tray. This morning my sweet boy, picked up my empty coffee cup to take a swig. Then he took off with it. The next thing we heard was dishes clanging (never a good sign!). John took off running, both of us sure he had just gotten into the cabinets and was destroying something. We clearly have high expectations of our child...
Instead, our cutie pie had stood on his tippy toes and dropped my mug in the sink, right where it needed to go. Thankfully nothing broke, and he was beaming with pride at being so helpful! I love this kid! Way to melt your momma's heart!
What are you savoring today?
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Trust in the Lord
The "With All my Heart" title of this blog you probably figured out came from Prov. 3:5-6. It's a verse that's been on my mind a lot the past few months. It's at the bottom of the page, but for the sake of you having to scroll down, here it is:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."
"Trust in the Lord" I can't count the number of times I've heard those 4 words thrown out or that I've thrown out. It seems like such a simple command, and yet we struggle. Maybe we struggle trusting people in general, or maybe we are so conditioned to only relying on ourselves. When we learned this verse with the kids at church, our sign for "trust" was to pretend to do a trust fall. Now I do believe that's a picture of what it is to trust God completely, but my concept of trust falls was a bit skewed as an elementary camper.
At camp one year, our cabin's assignment was to trust fall from a log into the waiting arms of our cabin mates. Most of us weren't in fact too trusting of each other as was evidenced by our wary glances backward or our crazy crooked falls, but my friend Ashley was. She climbed onto the log eagerly and confidently turned around with her back to us. We waited with anticipation, arms raised, ready to demonstrate our faithfulness to her. I can see this in slow motion - she fell back, straight as a board, exactly as she was supposed to. We caught her gleefully, then the horror as she slipped right through our arms and hit her head on a stump. I promise it was an accident, and she is okay today!
Sometimes as I consider trust, my mind goes back to this picture. The reality is we were fallible and not completely trustworthy, but God is. He's faithful to all of His promises. If we have any doubt, we need to consider the cross that "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He is perfect and cannot do anything that goes against His nature, which is good ALL the time. He isn't like my elementary cabin group who tried really hard, but just couldn't do it. He is God, and He promises that "All things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to HIS PURPOSES."
The next part of the verse is the one I've had to really grapple with - "Lean not on your own understanding"
"Yes, Lord I'll trust you, but only if I can figure out what You're going to do." I try to analyze the situation, prepare myself for the outcome, and know what to expect. Trust me I'm an OVER analyzer! What I'm trying to do is be in control and protect myself.
I cheered during my high school years - Yes, I know you probably made fun of cheerleaders. You can laugh if you desire.
Are you done?
I was a flyer, and during my sophomore year, my stunt group, still learning, dropped me a lot in the beginning. After a few times of being dropped, I began to try to analyze each stunt, and if I thought I was going to fall, I would get out of it myself. This is a problem. You teach girls to fall back in a cradle position if they are about to fall, because it makes you easier to catch. If you freak out or step out of the stunt, you are harder to catch and the faces of everyone trying to catch you are now in danger. I had to break myself of the habit for my safety and safety of my friends. In fear, I was attempting to establish control and protect myself.
When I withhold my absolute trust in the Lord, trying to analyze what God is doing, I'm trying to protect myself and be in control. The absurdity of that is why I would think I can do anything better than God. God is my ultimate Protector. My heart and mind are desperately wicked and deceitful Jeremiah says. They can't be trusted. God alone can be trusted, because He loves us as He demonstrated through Christ. David provides such a good example of hiding in the Lord and resting in His protection even when things seemed out of control.
We prayed hard yesterday we would hear about our visas. God's answer was "no" for the time. I don't know why and I'm not going to "lean on my own understanding" to try to figure it out! God has commanded me to "Trust in Him with all my heart." So I will...because I can!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."
"Trust in the Lord" I can't count the number of times I've heard those 4 words thrown out or that I've thrown out. It seems like such a simple command, and yet we struggle. Maybe we struggle trusting people in general, or maybe we are so conditioned to only relying on ourselves. When we learned this verse with the kids at church, our sign for "trust" was to pretend to do a trust fall. Now I do believe that's a picture of what it is to trust God completely, but my concept of trust falls was a bit skewed as an elementary camper.
At camp one year, our cabin's assignment was to trust fall from a log into the waiting arms of our cabin mates. Most of us weren't in fact too trusting of each other as was evidenced by our wary glances backward or our crazy crooked falls, but my friend Ashley was. She climbed onto the log eagerly and confidently turned around with her back to us. We waited with anticipation, arms raised, ready to demonstrate our faithfulness to her. I can see this in slow motion - she fell back, straight as a board, exactly as she was supposed to. We caught her gleefully, then the horror as she slipped right through our arms and hit her head on a stump. I promise it was an accident, and she is okay today!
Sometimes as I consider trust, my mind goes back to this picture. The reality is we were fallible and not completely trustworthy, but God is. He's faithful to all of His promises. If we have any doubt, we need to consider the cross that "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He is perfect and cannot do anything that goes against His nature, which is good ALL the time. He isn't like my elementary cabin group who tried really hard, but just couldn't do it. He is God, and He promises that "All things work together for good to them that love Him and are called according to HIS PURPOSES."
The next part of the verse is the one I've had to really grapple with - "Lean not on your own understanding"
"Yes, Lord I'll trust you, but only if I can figure out what You're going to do." I try to analyze the situation, prepare myself for the outcome, and know what to expect. Trust me I'm an OVER analyzer! What I'm trying to do is be in control and protect myself.
I cheered during my high school years - Yes, I know you probably made fun of cheerleaders. You can laugh if you desire.
Are you done?
I was a flyer, and during my sophomore year, my stunt group, still learning, dropped me a lot in the beginning. After a few times of being dropped, I began to try to analyze each stunt, and if I thought I was going to fall, I would get out of it myself. This is a problem. You teach girls to fall back in a cradle position if they are about to fall, because it makes you easier to catch. If you freak out or step out of the stunt, you are harder to catch and the faces of everyone trying to catch you are now in danger. I had to break myself of the habit for my safety and safety of my friends. In fear, I was attempting to establish control and protect myself.
When I withhold my absolute trust in the Lord, trying to analyze what God is doing, I'm trying to protect myself and be in control. The absurdity of that is why I would think I can do anything better than God. God is my ultimate Protector. My heart and mind are desperately wicked and deceitful Jeremiah says. They can't be trusted. God alone can be trusted, because He loves us as He demonstrated through Christ. David provides such a good example of hiding in the Lord and resting in His protection even when things seemed out of control.
We prayed hard yesterday we would hear about our visas. God's answer was "no" for the time. I don't know why and I'm not going to "lean on my own understanding" to try to figure it out! God has commanded me to "Trust in Him with all my heart." So I will...because I can!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
What would you change?
My husband and I are waiting...and waiting...and waiting! This has been an interesting month thus far. We had planned on leaving for the United Kingdom on August 9th. We've shipped a crate, sold everything else, given away anything we didn't sell or crate, and packed up the rest for the plane. We moved out of our apartment the last day of July thinking we would flying out August 9th. But with other things, our plans are not always God's plans. The Visa process has taken A LOT longer than we had anticipated. But, it's been a good thing too - we've had extra time to spend with friends and family and extra time to really stop and evaluate.
This month also marks our 5 year anniversary - so with all of these changes I've been thinking: "What would I change about the last 5 years of my life?" I really do not have many regrets and I don't want to dwell on failures or should haves, but I do want to evaluate so I live differently in the next 5 years. Does that make sense?
So here's what I came up with:
1. I would have spent more time in the Word
- I would have taken more time to study and know God through His Word. Only through God's Word can I know Him, and only through knowledge of Him can I live more like Him. While I spent time reading, I didn't always dive in and study and make it my heart's desire - the consequences of which are doubting, worry, anxiety, stress, etc.
2. I would have loved my husband better
- This isn't to say I haven't loved him, I just would have demonstrated my love for him in more of my actions. I spent much of our first 5 years of marriage trying to manage all of my expectations of marriage - ones I had placed on me and my husband. When we first got married, I thought it would be relatively simple to love my husband. I soon learned that I am quite a selfish person, and love is more than a feeling but an action. I would have dropped the expectations and sought more each day to show my love for my hubby and focus on the positive.
3. I would have enjoyed the present more than looking back at the past and forward to the future.
- Maybe you don't do this, but I love to think of the past and then I'm anxious for the future. Think about our lives. We long to grow up when we're young (then I hit a spell at 11 where I grieved how grown up I'd become - I realize I'm WEIRD!). Then we're anxious to marry, then anxious to have kids, then anxious for them to grow up - we focus on what's next. At the same time, we long to go back to childhood, or college days, or days without children. I wish I had spent more time enjoying, embracing, and cherishing the present to the fullest instead of being anxious for the future trying to anticipate all that could come up and grieving the loss of the past.
So these are the things I would change if I could go back. It's been a great 5 years, and we have a unique opportunity to begin a new adventure in the UK. So more than what I would change, these are my goals for myself as we move!
How about you? What would you change about the last 5 years and/or how will you live differently in the next 5?
This month also marks our 5 year anniversary - so with all of these changes I've been thinking: "What would I change about the last 5 years of my life?" I really do not have many regrets and I don't want to dwell on failures or should haves, but I do want to evaluate so I live differently in the next 5 years. Does that make sense?
So here's what I came up with:
1. I would have spent more time in the Word
- I would have taken more time to study and know God through His Word. Only through God's Word can I know Him, and only through knowledge of Him can I live more like Him. While I spent time reading, I didn't always dive in and study and make it my heart's desire - the consequences of which are doubting, worry, anxiety, stress, etc.
2. I would have loved my husband better
- This isn't to say I haven't loved him, I just would have demonstrated my love for him in more of my actions. I spent much of our first 5 years of marriage trying to manage all of my expectations of marriage - ones I had placed on me and my husband. When we first got married, I thought it would be relatively simple to love my husband. I soon learned that I am quite a selfish person, and love is more than a feeling but an action. I would have dropped the expectations and sought more each day to show my love for my hubby and focus on the positive.
3. I would have enjoyed the present more than looking back at the past and forward to the future.
- Maybe you don't do this, but I love to think of the past and then I'm anxious for the future. Think about our lives. We long to grow up when we're young (then I hit a spell at 11 where I grieved how grown up I'd become - I realize I'm WEIRD!). Then we're anxious to marry, then anxious to have kids, then anxious for them to grow up - we focus on what's next. At the same time, we long to go back to childhood, or college days, or days without children. I wish I had spent more time enjoying, embracing, and cherishing the present to the fullest instead of being anxious for the future trying to anticipate all that could come up and grieving the loss of the past.
So these are the things I would change if I could go back. It's been a great 5 years, and we have a unique opportunity to begin a new adventure in the UK. So more than what I would change, these are my goals for myself as we move!
How about you? What would you change about the last 5 years and/or how will you live differently in the next 5?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Memory Tray
Whenever I look at the date of my last post, I just cringe! Over a month has gone by since I last posted, and in that post I commented how I'm not doing so well at the whole blog thing! It isn't that I don't have things to say...I think I talk to myself in blog format (I know this is a bit weird! So no laughing please!) I just haven't had time or made the time to do it!
Anyway, my favorite part of discovering the blog world is all of the creative ideas I get. I have no creativity of my own, but I'm very good at stealing ideas! My little sister is getting married in August and her shower was at the end of May. I could not figure out what to give her. I wanted something a little more special than off the registry, but she is super creative! That's a problem since I have no creativity and could never compete with Melissa! However, when one of my favorite blogs, The Whimsical Princess,showed this adorable Memory Tray, I knew I had found it! So I used her idea to create one for my sister.
She used an old cabinet door as the frame; I was able to find the frame of an old mirror of my grandfather's. It was an off white color, so I sanded it and painted it black, spray painted Mardi Gra beads and glued them around the frame.
Then I scrapbooked a collage of their engagement pictures, using the sepia ones to make an old look. Kristin Partin, an amazing photographer, was awesome! She took great pictures and even let me heve them to use for the project.
Finally, my amazing husband and grandfather cut plywood and plexiglass to fit the frame. This was no small feat, as we were not cutting a rectangle, but an oval! This is extremely difficult, and they did an awesome job! Finally we glued super cute handles, and WALLA! we have a cute memory tray! I want one for myself now! And it was so much fun to get in touch with creative side!
The finished project:
Shannon
Anyway, my favorite part of discovering the blog world is all of the creative ideas I get. I have no creativity of my own, but I'm very good at stealing ideas! My little sister is getting married in August and her shower was at the end of May. I could not figure out what to give her. I wanted something a little more special than off the registry, but she is super creative! That's a problem since I have no creativity and could never compete with Melissa! However, when one of my favorite blogs, The Whimsical Princess,showed this adorable Memory Tray, I knew I had found it! So I used her idea to create one for my sister.
She used an old cabinet door as the frame; I was able to find the frame of an old mirror of my grandfather's. It was an off white color, so I sanded it and painted it black, spray painted Mardi Gra beads and glued them around the frame.
Then I scrapbooked a collage of their engagement pictures, using the sepia ones to make an old look. Kristin Partin, an amazing photographer, was awesome! She took great pictures and even let me heve them to use for the project.
Finally, my amazing husband and grandfather cut plywood and plexiglass to fit the frame. This was no small feat, as we were not cutting a rectangle, but an oval! This is extremely difficult, and they did an awesome job! Finally we glued super cute handles, and WALLA! we have a cute memory tray! I want one for myself now! And it was so much fun to get in touch with creative side!
The finished project:
Shannon
Thursday, May 13, 2010
My pity party
The last few weeks, I have very successfully thrown myself quite a big party! A PITY party that is, and for no good reason. Maybe it was partially due to the pregnancy hormones or the fact that up until this week, I couldn't think of a day where I had felt good. Don't get me wrong -I am ecstatic about this new little life that we have prayed for and dreamed about, and he or she is worth any fits of crying or bouts of nausea. My pity party may have been induced by sheer exhaustion of traveling and dealing with a toddler and his fits. Again, I dearly love my peanut, but this is a hard and trying stage! But regardless of the reason, I was just feeling sorry for myself.
I was choosing to allow my emotions to reign over truth in my life. I had convinced myself no one cared, I had no friends, something was wrong with me, I was a terrible wife and mom, and on and on. Are you starting to feel sorry for me? Have any of you been there? The bottom line is, it was my emotions running wild, and there is no excuse.
Finally it hit me-the only one I was hurting was me by choosing to live this way! Well, my hubby and kiddo were certainly not benefitting from it, not to mention my poor house, which I had neglected due to my lethargy. I needed to consciously choose to believe what is TRUE. I do have friends, I do have a church that cares, I have a God who is working in my life to make me more like Him, which will make a better wife and mother. And I needed to start looking for people I could bless! So after weeks of living in loneliness and isolation of my own choosing, I called some friends and a funny thing happened - the feelings changed!
"Finally bretheren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8
Don't you just love how the Bible is so true!
Blessings,
Shannon
I was choosing to allow my emotions to reign over truth in my life. I had convinced myself no one cared, I had no friends, something was wrong with me, I was a terrible wife and mom, and on and on. Are you starting to feel sorry for me? Have any of you been there? The bottom line is, it was my emotions running wild, and there is no excuse.
Finally it hit me-the only one I was hurting was me by choosing to live this way! Well, my hubby and kiddo were certainly not benefitting from it, not to mention my poor house, which I had neglected due to my lethargy. I needed to consciously choose to believe what is TRUE. I do have friends, I do have a church that cares, I have a God who is working in my life to make me more like Him, which will make a better wife and mother. And I needed to start looking for people I could bless! So after weeks of living in loneliness and isolation of my own choosing, I called some friends and a funny thing happened - the feelings changed!
"Finally bretheren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8
Don't you just love how the Bible is so true!
Blessings,
Shannon
Monday, May 10, 2010
Money and Mission
So clearly I had much better intentions in updating this blog than I am currently doing. I keep thinking about writing, even know what I want to write about, but for some reason I keep waiting for the perfect time. Then I'm too tired, the computer is off, I'm too lazy, and the excuses continue! But this is NOT what I wanted to write about.
Actually, I had saved a list of facts that I wanted to share since last weekend, and now can I find them? Of course not! I'm going to do my best. My husband and I are missionaries with Word of Life Fellowship, and we are currently finishing raising support to go to the United Kingdom. Last weekend (the one before Mother's Day) we were at a missions conference in northern VA. Sunday morning that pastor gave one of the most compelling messages regarding giving to missions, and not simply because I am a missionary in need of support. I was convicted and saddened by the lack of emphasis we, I, put upon giving our money to God's Work!
Here's Paul's thoughts:
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. 15 Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; 16 for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid again and again when I was in need. 17 Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your account. 18 I have received full payment and even more; I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. 19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:12-19
You know the sweetest promise is at the end of this passage. When we give to the Lord so that others will know Him, He WILL meet all of our needs!
Blessings,
Shannon
Actually, I had saved a list of facts that I wanted to share since last weekend, and now can I find them? Of course not! I'm going to do my best. My husband and I are missionaries with Word of Life Fellowship, and we are currently finishing raising support to go to the United Kingdom. Last weekend (the one before Mother's Day) we were at a missions conference in northern VA. Sunday morning that pastor gave one of the most compelling messages regarding giving to missions, and not simply because I am a missionary in need of support. I was convicted and saddened by the lack of emphasis we, I, put upon giving our money to God's Work!
- Only 15% of pastors say missions is one of their priorities
- Only $0.10 of every $100 goes to missions in the average church
- The average American family makes $34,000 a year and only gives about $15/weekly (This is one I'm not sure I cited exactly right, but it is an alarming statistic)
- The average American family only gives about $2.00 towards missions
Here's Paul's thoughts:
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. 15 Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; 16 for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid again and again when I was in need. 17 Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your account. 18 I have received full payment and even more; I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. 19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:12-19
You know the sweetest promise is at the end of this passage. When we give to the Lord so that others will know Him, He WILL meet all of our needs!
Blessings,
Shannon
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